Just settling in for my second night on the third floor. It is a little scary up here learning how to take care of my sweet HEART. The nurses are teaching me how to give him his meds, feed him through his feeding tube, check for placement of his feeding tube with a stethoscope, CPR, and tomorrow I learn how to place the feeding tube through his nose down into his stomach. I think I am catching on, I just pray I will remember it all when we go home. Speaking of going home, they told me this morning if things stay steady maybe two or three more days, AHHHH! Teagan looks great and when I'm home and they finally ween me off my nurses and monitors, the way he looks and mothers intuition is all I have to go on. They say I will know my baby, I just pray I will. The struggles today were, still messing with oxygen, he went off twice today and is now back on for sleeping. The bigger deal was he kept throwing up, he went through five outfits. They are trying to teach him to eat more at once and go a few hours without food, like normal babies, but he is just having a hard time keeping that much down at once. I know Megan was trying to slow them down, I just hope he will learn because it scares me when he gags. We also attempted a bottle, the first two trys were no good, but third time the charm I guess because for him he did really well. He can only eat for ten mins max because it is too hard on his heart. We will keep trying, I know he can do it, a lot of these babies have never ate from a boob or a bottle, but Teag did and I know it will take time, but he and I can do it. At this point I feel like we can do anything, he is amazing. I don't know when I will ever sleep again, I can't take my eyes off him. I thought Mason was scary as a newborn, but Teagan demands so much more. I know I can do it though, with a wonderful supportive husband, My marvelous mom who without her I don't know where I would be, and all of our extended family who have pitched in with Mason and my house and anything I could possibly need. This is a life long calling, being a heart mom and I pray I can do and I want to do it as long as my Heavenly Father will let me take care of one of his most precious sons.
Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, because life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain.