Yesterday was a sidestep day. I was up most of Friday night with a sweet little guy who just loves four in the morning. So after his six a.m. x-ray and a puke, I was rocking him back to sleep when the cardio team walked in for rounds. Rounds are very interesting and I'm not one to complain because PCMC has saved my baby, but they all just look at him, in the dark mind you, a few listen to his chest, a lot of nodding, but nothing more is said than he looks good, sounds good. But yesterday the nurse prac., Linda, came in said on yesterday ECHO they found a clot, but don't worry you can still go home you just have to give him shots twice a day and then they left. So being the person I am I sat there in the rocking chair crying, looking at my baby and asking myself how am I going to give him shots twice a day? I called Ryan and he was on his way to sell his bike and then would be right up. Long story short we handled the situation and got down to how we would deal with the clot. Dr. Day apologized for how the news was delivered and answered all of our questions. This is a new clot, not one of the previous ones those still were never there. This one is in the superior vena cava where the pic line was, they believe after all the precautions, a clot formed around it. It is relatively small and blood can still get by, but it could move and travel to a organ or to the brain and cause a stroke. The best way to treat is shots, so that's our new challenge learning how to give our one month old baby shots twice a day. He had his first at four and we watched, Ryan yelled does it have to go in that far! I tried to console Teagan as he turned into a blueberry and didn't breath for what felt like eternity and now we get to do it to him ourselves for the next month. I pray I will have the strength to do it and that it will work. The good news is Teags has not puked for about 24 hours, knock on wood, he is real peaceful, his stats look great and he has been on room air for the past 24 hours. Ryan spent the night last night and made me leave since I've been in this room for the past five days. I slept at my parents with Mason, it was too hard to be alone at home. And then we came up here for church. It was testimony meeting, Ryan and believe it or not Big G bore their testimony's, Mason let the whole congregation know they did good by telling them so everyone could hear. We are worried about the news of a clot, but just like everything else we will deal with it a step and a day at a time.
Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, because life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain.