Friday, July 25, 2008

Spoke too Soon!

Friday went as Fridays do for us in the PICU, (from his first surgery Fridays were always our worst days). Yes the tube was out then we were on regular O2 then we went to high flow then we went to C-pap. After a few more hours we all realized it was time to reintubate. I played doctor and listen to his lungs and watched his retractions and although his bloodgases were not too bad I told the doctor I could not hear anything on the left side so she listened and agreed with me (after asking if I was in the medical profession) that it was time. Teagan's left lung collapsed and we are hoping the vent will help open it back up. They asked if I wanted to stay in the room for the reintubation and I said yes because I'm trying to be really strong for him. Well they started to drug him for it and he stopped breathing...YES I said stopped! So they had to bag him and I'm just standing there while all these doctors gather round watching my son with white faces and look just as worried as I feel, no one tells me it is going to be ok and I don't want to bug them for fear they might turn away from Teagan. So I wait as long as I could and my Mom who is there to comfort me after I sent Kim out says just ask so I ask and the nurse says he is ok they plan on them to stop breathing just not that soon, meanwhile they tried three times to place the tube and finally got it in. Ryan called during all this and I told him what was happening and he was on his way up. We got things all calmed down and gave Teagan a extra blessing that his lungs will be strong. I hope we can all get rest after our long, hard day. I had to just tell myself that he is not there, his spirit is somewhere happy, it's just his body having to endure all this. It is so hard to watch them "beat the crap out of him" as they call it trying to get the crap out of his lungs by beating his chest. But I have to believe it is for the best. He did open his eyes tonight when all was said and done and I was able to look in his eyes and tell him everything was going to be ok. He is so beautiful, someone said he is too pretty to be a boy, but he is just my beautiful baby boy half heart and all. May our Father in Heaven keep him comfortable this night is my prayer. Good Night sweet angel baby, peace be the journey!

7 comments:

Tami Acord-Nelson said...

We are all praying for Teag's. What a day! I hate not being able to walk down and check on you guys. It is hard to be home when you are all the way up there! Dont get me wrong, I dont WANT to come back- just easier than wondering and waiting. We love you guys and know you are strong enough to endure all that you are going through. Teagan chose you to be his mom and dad and he knew you would do all the right things for him. The beach will do him good when he is healing......we will build sand castles as tall as he is.....and that is pretty tall!
Our prayers are with you.
Much Love,

Tami and Ryan and the boys

Ashley said...

Oh, Brytt it makes me cry to hear that you had such a hard day, and that Teagan had to endure so much. It also makes me proud to know that you are so strong to watch all of this unfold and have the peace of mind to have rational thoughts during the chaos. I like to think that one day you will show Teagan the pictures and explain how strong and brave he was during these times, and he won't remember any of it. I love you, and will remember to pray extra hard on Fridays! :)

Love and prayers

Ashley

Matt said...

Dr. Brytten I think I will jump on a plane so I can give you a hug! Funny I said the same thing to Matt that Tami said. I know we chose each other as our families. What a role you have to play. When you signed on for this you must have known the end reward would be more than worth it. So much love we are spending to all of you!-Chelsee

carolyn q said...

I am sorry that it was such a hard Friday. Brytt, you are very strong to be able to witness it. . but I also understand you wanting to be strong and be there for him too. You are such a great mom to your boys :0)
I hope today can be a much better day and he will be able to rest.
Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Carolyn

Simmons Family: said...

Oh my goodness.. I'm so sorry!! I love to hear how strong you are for your baby boy! I also would NEVER leave the room and felt if Owen could endure it, then I could be there by his side. It still doesn't take away the gut wrnching pain you feel for you sweet angel baby. It's aweful.

I pray that he will continue to get stronger and be back home with your family soon. This is not an easy road, but it does get better :).

Andrea

kathy said...

We are so sorry to hear about your rough day! Teagan will forget all of this before you do but time will help. We love your blogs and check them always. You are a very special family. Teagan is beautiful and lucky to have you for a mommy.Our thoughts and prayers are always with all of you. We would do anything in the world to help you so do not hesitate to ask for anything anytime.
We love you and are praying for you always....hang in there!!
Kathy and the rest of the McDonalds

Anonymous said...

I would have never thought that my graduation theme would ever mean so much.
Love Ya!
Coke aka Elmo