Friday, August 15, 2008

Welcome to Holland!

I got this poem at one of our parent meetings and it is the greatest explanation of how I feel about my "new" life:
When you are going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans...The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?" you say, "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm suppose to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there has been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you bring to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips and Holland even has Rembrandt's. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." The pain of that will never, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special , lovely things about Holland.
My life will never be the same, the plans I made have changed, I feel sad when people talk about "Italy", but the changes have made me a better and stronger person and I am thankful for that. God has blessed me with Teagan, I always knew this was coming, not this exact way, but I always I knew I was going to have a child with disabilities and I thank the Lord for preparing me. May the Lord bless you all and may you understand my situation and feelings better is my prayer.


aj said...

You don't know me, I'm a heart baby's (Grace) aunt, but I've been keeping up with Teagan for months, and he is an amazing kid with a great family!

I just wanted to post because your comment about Italy and Holland touched me so much! That is a brilliant way to express how your life, hopes, and things you look forward to have had to adjust - with a change in flight plans.

Thank you for sharing that!

Chelsee said...

Perfect. 6 more days!

summer said...

okay, you made me cry. Oh how that poem is so true. Being a heart Mom is more than I had ever planned for!!! But I love my sweet heart Mason sooooo much I wouldnt change a thing!! Glad Teag is doing better. Have a great weekend!

cprolf said...
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Amber said...

Hi Brytten. I'm going to come and see Teagen tonight. I look forward to seeing him. I'm really not sure how he is doing right now, or when he gets to come home. His pictures look nice. He's so much bigger then when I last saw him. Sounds like you and your family are doing ok from what you write on your blog. I'm glad to know that. I just got back in town again and am working part time on the side. Know matter what though I'm here for Teagen. Take care Amber

The Taylors said...

Wow that is a great poem, it really explains how I feel about having a heart baby, You guys are sure a neat family. I will hopefully be able to meet you someday through the heart mom connection. Kylie has changed my life so much, but it has all been for the better, Teagan is so darn cute.